Monday 30 October 2017

Monsters: Dark Continent (2014) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written January 16th, 2016*

"The real monsters are the ones who made this"

The first Monsters was a small and touching sci-fi drama that managed to do a lot with it's extremely low budget. This cash-in sequel on the other hand, does nothing. Nothing that made the first one so great is on display here, the acting is brutal, the action is poorly filmed and the story delves into dull war cliches. I don't even know why this was made as a sequel? Apart from the fact the same aliens are in it, there is nothing that connects to the first.

Gareth Edwards was obviously busy doing the Godzilla reboot when they made this, although I'm not sure if he could have saved this terrible screenplay. Tom Green (Not that one) takes over here and this one takes the action to the Middle East and features soldiers. 

The soldiers were all obnoxious douche bags. Warning signs flew at me very early on during a scene where the soldiers were fucking cheap whores. It just rubbed me the wrong way. All the performances are brutal and unbearable.


There wasn't even any decent action. It was all shakey-cam bullshit and poorly filmed. It looked really cheap and ugly too, which is no excuse considering the first had an even lower budget. Aside from the creatures which are sparsely used (The only thing similar to the first), nothing else looked good. The visual style of this film made me want to fucking vomit.


I don't have any reason to recommend Monsters: Dark Continent, it really was cheap garbage that never should have seen the light of day. Everyone involved in this cash-in should be ashamed.

2/10 Dans

Monsters: Dark Continent is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Thursday 26 October 2017

Freddy vs. Jason (2003) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written October 26th, 2017*

"KO"

I probably should have picked a better film for my last day of being 20, but nostalgia and the lack of anything else being on Netflix, plus the factor of being round a friends who wanted a horror film, I thought I'd revisit Freddy vs. Jason. A film I LOVED as a child, I watched this on DVD a lot, more than I care to remember. Watching it as an adult... it's... bad. 

The idea of pitting two of cinemas greatest slasher villains against each other is a novel idea, and one that had the potential for a lot of fun, but it's just such a mess. A confused mash-up of both mythologies that end up as a poorly directed slog of a film. It fails as both a Friday the 13th film and a Nightmare on Elm Street film.

This whole thing reeks of a cheap cash-in. It looks like shit. It's so cheap and special effects are laughably bad and outdated. There's a moment where Freddy turns into a slug and it looks like a PS2 game. It's pathetic. The lack of care and effort put into this film is embarrassing. It seems like they thought they'd have a good film just because they had these two iconic characters together. 


There were a couple of grizzly kills that I laughed at. The girl getting smashed into the tree was pretty choice. It's just a shame a lot of it is ruined by the poor visual effects. None of this stuff is creepy either. I'm not massively sure where this fits into either of the series, but each of them seem wasted. 

The brawls themselves are very weak too. We get two punch ups between the two. One in Freddy's dream world, then one in the real world. Neither are satisfying or interesting. It feels like watching someone play Mortal Kombat, but completely lifeless.


It's such a shame when things like this happen. Watching a film you loved as a kid, only to watch it as an adult and realise it's pretty terrible. Freddy vs. Jason is a pathetic attempt at a vs horror film. Made even worse by the fact this is the last on-screen appearance of Robert Englund as Freddy. What a terrible note to end such an iconic character on. Kinda surprised they never went anywhere with the sequel hinting ending though.

4/10 Dans

Freddy vs. Jason is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Child's Play 3 (1991) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written October 26th, 2017*

"Chucky Goes to Military School"

Not entirely sure why I watched this tonight. I guess because it was 2:30am and I wanted something that was short and I fancied some Chucky. Plus it's October, so always time for a slasher film, right?

This was always my least favourite of the original trilogy growing up, and it still is. There's nothing massively wrong with it as a horror sequel. The military school is a nice change of scenery. The 8 year jump is a bit jarring (Placing the film in 1998 despite being released in 1991). Luckily, I think Bride of Chucky played catch up by taking place a month after this. 

It's by far the most nasty and mean spirited of the first 3. There's just something a lot more brutal and dark this time round. Chucky is still the lovable scamp he usually is with the same charming vocabulary. Maybe the whole thing is tainted by the James Bulger connection (A case I've read too much about at this point). I dunno, something just seems off.


At least some of the kills are fun and creative, which they did more with the swapped paintball rounds for bullets though. I feel a massacre of the kids could have been a lot more effective and sick. There's also some excellent puppetry going on here and Chucky's lip syncing seems much more refined from what I remember. 

There's a nice change where Chucky isn't after Andy for once, but it's a shame they abandoned all the original actors due to the time jump. It's made worse by the fact all the performances (Aside from the hairdresser) are universally awful. I feel bad picking out a child for his acting, but Jeremy Sylvers is atrocious.

I did love the setting of the finale. I just love stuff that takes place in a Halloween maze/ride. Kinda reminded me of the finale of The Guest, but with a ginger midget of a doll rather than Dan Stevens. Brad Dourif is still wonderful as Chucky. I still love the fact he's a more vocal killer that mocks his victims more in line with Freddy Krueger rather than the silent killers like Michael Myers of Jason Voorhees. 


I'm looking forward to revisiting Bride and Seed of Chucky that have both finally been released on Blu-ray in the UK. Which is about damn time. Child's Play 3 though is just fine, it's nasty, mean-spirited and violent, but it's more Charles Lee Ray going bananas. So I can't complain too much.

6/10 Dans

Child's Play 3 is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Thor: Ragnarok (2017) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written October 26th, 2017*

"Third time's the charm"

They finally did it. It took Marvel three attempts, but they've finally made a Thor solo film that didn't make me want to kill myself. The first two Thor films are by far the worst outings of the MCU (Aside from the pathetic Age of Ultron). Thankfully, Disney seem to finally be allowing directors to finally take creative control and make unique films. For the third time in a row this year, Marvel have knocked it out the park and have finally dropped that garbage televisual look many of their films have.

Thor: Ragnarok is a gorgeous, gorgeous film with a striking and varied colour palette. They seem to be moving more in the direction of Guardians of the Galaxy with its zany and cosmic weirdness and they embrace it, which I loved. There's so many cool and different sci-fi ideas and designs here to embrace here. It's the only Thor film that I feel will grow on me with each watch. 

Chris Hemsworth is still great as The God of Thunder, Thor. Playing it charming and funny. There's not much range outside of that, but I'll get to that with my main problem with the film. I was surprised by Tom Hiddleston as Loki here. Loki is a character I've grown sick of in the recent years. We get it, he's smug and slimy, there's been a few times for him to stretch, but being played as the joke rather than the threat really worked here. Mark Ruffalo is a welcome return as Bruce Banner/The Hulk, it's shame we'll probably never get a solo film with him, but Ruffalo continues to be an excellent Hulk. The visual effects artist also seem to improve him with each portrayal too.

What makes Thor: Ragnarok so strong is just how much fun it is. We jump from location to location. Most of the film takes place on a planet run by an overlord played by the always excellent Jeff Goldblum, where Thor is forced to be a gladiator while his home is being taken over by a new threat 'Hela' (Cate Blanchett). I always appreciate when these films tell their own stories without the need to be annoyingly connected with the rest of the MCU. Aside from a couple of references, Ragnarok stand completely on its own. 

My main problem with Ragnarok is the same problem I had with Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 2. The jokes. There's just too many and they weigh down any kind of emotion the film could have had. It seemed any moment there was potential for a tense scene, it would be undercut by a joke. Not to say it wasn't funny, most of the jokes are actually very solid. It's just I wish they'd let some stuff breathe more and make us care. It's all good fun, but it felt like a very emotionless film, despite some of the big events that happen.



Then there's a common problem with Marvel films. The villain. Cate Blanchett doesn't give a bad performance at all, she's actually pretty fun in the role, hamming it up completely. It's just there's not a lot to the character, making her another disposable Marvel villain that will be quickly forgotten. At the very least, it's an improvement on those stupid goblins from The Dark World. Karl Urban is also pretty wasted as the secondary villain, he has a moment to shine towards the end, but was mostly just there.

If there's a big problem Marvel overcame this time, it's the score. Ragnarok delivers a wonderfully '80s electronic score that suited the film perfectly from Mark Mothersbaugh. It's the first film from the MCU where I've actually remembered stuff from the score. There's also a few choice songs spread throughout. 

Marvel are now officially 3 for 3 with their MCU films this year and Thor: Ragnarok is a massive improvement on the previous two films. It's a little hollow, but it's a gorgeous, fun and funny blast of a sci-fi adventure. Keep it up, Marvel. 

8/10 Dans

Thor: Ragnarok is out now in cinemas in the UK
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Happy Death Day (2017) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written October 26th, 2017*

"Live. Die. Repeat" 

Not a lot to say about Happy Death Day a mostly serviceable and entertaining spin on the Groundhog Day formula, but with a horror/slasher twist.

It's all just fairly watchable, yet highly forgettable. It made for breezy watching, mostly thanks to its 90 minute run time, but it just feels lacking in many areas. 

All the characters are pretty horrible. Jessica Rothe (Blake Lively's long lost twin sister) does a fine job as the lead, a college student forced to relive the day she's murdered again and again until she survives it. There was no problem with her performance, she shines at times and is genuinely funny and charming, but the character is such a bitch at the beginning, it was hard to root for her. Luckily she gets easier to root for as she starts to see her wrongs as the film goes on.

I liked the fact they never explain why the 'Groundhog Day' effect happens, she just wakes up with the ability. No nonsensical fantasy element, it just happens. I appreciate that, rather than most films way of over explaining things. 


The mystery of why the girl is killed is pretty weak, resolved in a pretty laughable and insane twist. I'd argue most of the film is very stupid, but that's the point. There's a crazy amount of times the lead could have figured out who was trying to kill her, but decides to give it a different try. They don't take the Edge of Tomorrow approach of the lead trying the same tactic until it worked. It was just kind of infuriating to see the lead knock down the killer and run off, when she had the perfect opportunity to mash his brains in while he was down.

For a 15 rated (In the UK) film, I was surprised at how tame this was. There was potential for a variety of gruesome kills, but instead the camera tended to cut away before any of the gore could be seen, I assume this was to secure a lower age rating in other countries, but in the UK, it just seems another addition to the 15 rating the BBFC shove on tame films purely for being "Horror". 

I sound quite negative, but I did have a lot of fun with Happy Death Day. I didn't expect this to be as funny as it was, but it worked more as a comedy than it did a horror. There's a few lame jump-scares, but it never takes itself seriously. The highlight was easily a montage of the lead continually dying in order to cross of the list of suspects it might be. 


Happy Death Day is far from one of the best horror films of the year, but as a passable slasher film with the Groundhog Day gimmick, it did its job and is obviously appealing to the teen crowd. What I'm trying to say is, it was better than I was expecting. Hey ho. 

6/10 Dans

Happy Death Day is out now in cinemas in the UK
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Tuesday 24 October 2017

The Florida Project (2017) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written October 24th, 2017*

"Reality"

I keep saying 2017 might be the strongest year of cinema I've ever lived in. I was born in 1996, so make of that what you will. Films like this are what make me love film. This is pure cinema. The Florida Project is something so special that has come out of nowhere for me. I got to see it at Odeon's monthly or so "Unseen" even where they give you a preview of a film coming out without telling you what it is. I had no clue about this film. I'd heard some festival buzz and that Willem Dafoe was in it, but that's it. I haven't even seen the director's previous film 'Tangerine', but I need to now.

I was floored by this. A dark, sweet and sad film about a group of different people living in a motel on the outskirts of Disneyland Florida. It's like a peek into what they don't want you see around a place that is meant to be magical and child friendly. It all feels so real. Nothing about this felt Hollywood or fake. This could have been a documentary for all I know if it weren't for Willem Dafoe and another actor I recognised (I'm talking about Caleb Jones and his vitamin C deficiency). 

Not that Willem Dafoe wasn't fantastic in this, but he is outshined by non-actors, which is a compliment. Every performance is insanely good. Even the goods, who feel like real kids. Not the usual Richard Curtis bullshit where kids talk like adults and understand things they wouldn't in real life. They're incoherent, confused and easily pleased, but know when something is wrong, making for some of the most heartbreaking moments I've seen in cinema this year.


For a first time actress, Bria Vinaite was a goddamn revelation as Halley, the mother of Moonee (Brooklynn Prince), a woman who goes to desperate attempts to provide for her daughter and keep her living in the motel for the Summer. It's a performance of incredible complexion for a first time actress, there is so much depth to her character and performance, I couldn't believe this is the first time she's been on a screen. I can't wait to see her career progression after this.

In many ways this reminded me last years American Honey (Which is also excellent and worth checking out). This is a film I imagine mainstream audiences shrugging off as "Boring" or "Nothing happens", which is fair enough. There's not so much plot, it's more about just watching these people live, living and breathing their world and watching their struggles. Which for me, was so compelling and beautiful.

Speaking of beautiful, this is a gorgeous film. I cannot express how much I loved the colour scheme of the faux brightly coloured motel as the backdrop to so much poverty and desperation. Alexis Zabe did an incredible job with the cinematography, there were so many beautiful images that it was impossible to take in on a first watch. That firework scene? I need more of that in my life.


The only big question mark I had about The Florida Project was the ending. Which is up to interpretation for sure, but sadly I was with a jerk-off audience that laughed out loud and verbally shouted "Was that it" when it ended. For me, the ending was beautiful, a piece of a escapism fantasy that could have only been in the mind of a child who was facing the hardest moment of her life. I'd say the change of cinematic technique was a bit jarring and off, but on reflection, the way the scene was presented, so different from the rest of the film, it had to be fantasy. Everything leading up to it though was some of the most brutal and hard hitting things I've seen.


I loved The Florida Project. It's not a film that will show wide, but if you can seek it out and you're open to indie and art-house films, then this will be an endlessly rewarding experience that's equal parts sweet and endearing as it was heartbreaking. Pure cinema. Give me more Sean Baker.

10/10 Dans

The Florida Project opens November 10th in UK cinemas
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Saturday 21 October 2017

The Snowman (2017) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written October 20th, 2017"

"Snow bad"

Where do I start with The Snowman? One of the biggest and most unexpected train wrecks of 2017. Nothing about this film indicated the utter mess it ended up being. It had an acclaimed director, Michael Fassbender, an intriguing story with interesting imagery. Yet, this somehow managed to be one of the worst films of the year.

I'm a sucker for a serial killer story. I recently just watched David Fincher's new Netflix show Mindhunter (Which is awesome. Check it out) so I was in the mood for decent serial killer film. I was a little put off and surprised by the critical bashing this film good, but I went to see it. I thought "It can't be that bad, can it?". Turns out it was.

Everything about The Snowman was a wreck. It's very rare that the cold opening before the main titles would indicate what you're about to see, but it's start spectacular bad. Within 5 minutes we've got horrific and unnecessary CGI, awful writing and some of worst and noticeable ADR I've ever seen in a studio film. I feel like this might have been directed by Tommy Wiseau, but with a moderate budget.


Things don't get better once Michael Fassbender enters the picture as the laughably named 'Harry Hole', seriously. That's the characters name. It was impossible not to laugh when someone said it out loud. Fassbender himself phones it in with a one-note and distant and cold detective character whose sole character traits are that he smokes and drinks a lot. Honestly, play a drinking game where you take a shot every time he smokes a cigarette. You'll be long dead by the end of the film.

I honestly had no idea what was happening with this story either. There are so many unnecessary and pointless sub-plots that only convoluted things and just felt there merely to stretch this thing to 2 hours. None of the links to the case made sense and none of the reveals felt earned. It's just a mess.

The one saving grace of the unnecessary plots was the inclusion of Val Kilmer in the form of flashbacks. It was one of the most bat-shit and insane performances of the year. What has happened to this man? He looks like the demented love-child of Brad Pitt and Tommy Wiseau. I'm pretty sure his voice was overdubbed by someone else too. It was insane. His few moments at least granted the film some "So bad, it's incredible" moments. Sadly, the rest of the film is lacking this.


I'd say a good 80% of the film is Michael Fassbender staring and acting like a dick or slow zoom ins of snowmen, which come off as laughable rather than eery. The only real and genuine positive I can give The Snowman is that it at least some some gorgeous looking scenery, which is nearly ruined at points by the poor direction. 


The Snowman is a train wreck. One of the worst films of the year. I never saw this coming. Laughably bad, poorly directed, incoherent and just mostly boring. I never thought I'd be adding a serial killer thriller starring Michael Fassbender to my worst of the year contenders, but hey ho, here we are. God help us all.

2/10 Dans

The Snowman is out now in cinemas in the UK
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Tuesday 17 October 2017

Mission Impossible - Rogue Nation (2015) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written August 7th, 2015*

"Cruising"


Ditching the cartoony fun that Brad Bird bought to the franchise with Ghost Protocol for a more darker and sinister take, Rogue Nation is another excellent edition to the long running series. It's amazing that the Mission Impossible films have gone on since 1996 and have only had one dud (M.I.2) out the lot.

Tom Cruise returns as Ethan Hunt once again with outstanding charisma and dedication to the role. While the stunts don't come to the height that Ghost Protocol brought, there are still an amazing array of scenes to be in awe at. People were worried that they spoiled the plane set-piece with the trailer, and in all honesty, they didn't. The scene is still spectacular and jaw-dropping, especially when you know that it is actually Tom Cruise hanging on the side of a plane for real. There seems to be some strong prejudice against Cruise because of his behaviour and personal beliefs, but I say do what you want when you constantly deliver such incredibly fun films with 100% effort put in.


The story is much darker this time around. It's a pretty personal story for the IMF (Impossible Mission Force) team as they try and take down a society of agents who do what they do, but evil. While it lacks the end of the world stakes of the previous film, I personally preferred this darker story and it found it to be the most compelling film of the whole franchise.

This is also the first time in the series that the members of the team are all returning members from previous films. The comic relief Simon Pegg returns as Benji in a much more expanded role and steals all the scenes he is in, there was a strange but funny scene of product placement where he is playing Halo 5 on Xbox One at the CIA rather than working. Jeremy Renner came back with a much smaller role and didn't really do much. Ving Rhames was excellent as series veteran Luther. 

The only two new cast members are Rebecca Ferguson and Alec Baldwin. Ferguson was awesome, where has this women been? She handled action fantastically and had great chemistry with Cruise, her character was even interesting on top of this. Baldwin was forgettable as the new head of IMF, although he did have the strangest and most wonderful line in the whole film "Hunt is the living manifestation of destiny", I don't know what it meant, but it was just a beautiful moment.


On the villain side of things, Sean Harris was very sinister and chilling as Solomon, this series isn't very well known for its villains, but they did a pretty good job here. I just felt they could have developed him a bit more and gave us better motivation for his actions.


Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation is another slice of insanely entertaining spy action with great set-pieces, a game performance from Cruise and the best story the series has had yet.

8/10 Dans

Mission Impossible - Rogue Nation is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Monday 16 October 2017

Cars 3 (2017) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written October 16th, 2017*

"Kachow! Kill me." 

I remember being kind of excited for Cars 3 when that initial teaser trailer was released, then they released the full trailer and it was more or less exactly what I was expecting the film to be. I'm just really not a fan of the Cars franchise (2 is one of the worst animated films I've ever seen), that said, Cars 3 is by far the best in the franchise, while still being aggressively mediocre.

I appreciate what they tried to do. An older Lightning McQueen finally accepting he's just not that good a racer anymore. It's a plot more suited to an adult existential drama. What does a Car do when he can't race anymore? It's not really a question that's explored any further or done that well. This is no animated Rocky Balboa that's for sure.

My criticism of this is a hard one to explain. This is first and foremost a kids film made to sell toys to young and impressionable children. So any expectation of something more would be ludicrous, but then I remember the rest of Pixar's excellent output and realise, actually, year, these kids films can be meaningful and sweet while being a piece of the Disney machine of consumerism. 

I'd be fine with these films if I felt something towards these characters or even found them funny. Maybe I'm just getting old, but I just found this a chore to sit through. So much so that not even the insanely good animation could make these entertaining. Honestly, Pixar's animators are topping themselves every year. I just wish this series would have had better writers. 


It's hard to say if we'll ever get a Cars 4. I know Cars 3 really under performed, but I imagine it made more than enough in merchandise sales to continue the series. I'll watch it, but it needs a serious overhaul. Lightning McQueen can't be the focus of the next film. His story is done now. He'll need to be reduced to a minor character while it makes way for a new racer. 

I don't even want to begin to talk about the bizarre and insane world Cars exists even and the questions that's raised. It's been talked about to death. It''s just.... fucked.


Whatever, that's Car 3, it.. it was what it was. The best film in Pixar's worst franchise. It's got stellar animation and effects, but it's extremely rusty on plot and character. This really feels like nothing but an obligation rather than a film made to entertain children and adults alike.

5/10 Dans

Cars 3 does not currently have a release date in the UK for its 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD
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Doctor Strange (2016) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written October 27th, 2016*

"Life is Strange"

While it suffers from the usual strains of a superhero origin story, Doctor Strange somehow manages to be unique, original and the weirdest thing to come from the MCU yet. 

While the story was fairly formulaic for the first act, I was sort of lost for most of the film. A lot of dialogue is characters spouting exposition that meant nothing to me. They talk about magic, spells, evil spirits and lots of mentions of mirror dimensions or something. It also lacks the weight of Civil War, which isn't Strange's fault, seeing as that was the build up of 8 years worth of films before it, but it just made Civil War have more of an impact.

While this lack of knowing what was happening should have diminished my entertainment, I was blown away by the visuals happening on screen. I never in a million years would have expected this to be as visually stunning as it was. It has some the weirdest and most unique visual style of any comic-book I've ever seen. While Guardians of the Galaxy was a zany risk for Marvel, Doctor Strange blows it out of the water.

While Benedict Cumberbatch was great in the lead (Once I put his American accent aside), his character is fairly similar to a lot of things we've seen before it. An arrogant, smug and somewhat obnoxious doctor who is brilliant at his job. He's sort of a mix of Tony Stark and Doctor House. He was great, and I look forward to seeing more of him in the MCU.


Where Marvel failed once again was in its villain. This is the biggest insult to me from Doctor Strange. Wasting Mads Mikkelsen. I have just finished watching all 3 seasons of Hannibal, and the man is a god. He's sadly wasted here in another throwaway and forgettable villain. Mads does the best he can with the little material he's given, but he deserves so much more than this.


So yeah, Doctor Strange is a lot better than I expected. I never really had any expectations for this, and while it fails on the villain front and its muddled storytelling, I was captivated by its creative, psychedelic and downright beautiful visuals.

7/10 Dans

Doctor Strange is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Saturday 14 October 2017

Brawl in Cell Block 99 (2017) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written October 14th, 2017*

"Prison fight"

Not what I expected at all. I was a big fan of S. Craig Zahler's previous film Bone Tomahawk, but there's just something about prison films that really put me off. While I tend to almost always enjoy them. The thought about spending two hours within the confined space of a prison just bores me. Then there's the issue of Vince Vaughn, an actor I tend to usually hate. Except in Dodgeball, Dodgeball is a masterpiece. If you haven't seen Dodgeball, see Dodgeball.

Brawl in Cell Block 99 finds Vince Vaughn playing against type as an ex-alcoholic, ex-boxer who is fired from his job and begins working as a drug runner. A job goes wrong and he finds himself in prison, but is forced to kill someone in the prison after his ex boss kidnaps his pregnant wife and will have a Korean abortionist mutilate his baby in the womb. I did not make that up. I expect no less from the man who made Bone Tomahawk. 


I'd heard Brawl was a violent film, but this is some of the most grizzly and disgusting stuff I've seen all year. For a two hour film, there is not actually that much violence, but when it finally happens, my god it is effective. Lots of use of really graphic and practical effects which look disgusting. I never thought I'd see a mans face look like that after being dragged across concrete. Zahler directs the action with weight and precision in a way that sort of reminded me of the Raid films. Everything was in camera and brutal, it was pure exploitation film making from another era. I could easily see this as a film from the '90s. 

I've mentioned I don't like Vince Vaughn, but this is by far the best I've ever seen him. The first time his character isn't just a complete douche-bag. He completely loses himself in the role as Bradley Thomas, a man who is a walking tank of destruction, and while he has his moments of explosive violence and rage, he still manages to give a subdued performance that was far from one note. There's even some genuinely effective moments of emotion towards the end as Bradley seems to accept his fate and the consequences of what he has to do.

It was kind of impossible not to root for Bradley, despite being a violent drug runner, he's got a moral compass and is actually quite likeable. His plight through the increasingly horrible prison system is relentless too, that poor guy never gets a break. There's a magnificent scene at the beginning where he tears apart a car with his bare hands. It was a wonder to behold and it was around that point I think I knew I was going to love this. 

My biggest complaint with Bone Tomahawk was that it was a bit too long and dragged at times, but I never had that problem with Brawl. It's a fairly slow-paced film, but I was into it for near enough every second. We spend enough time with Bradley and his wife in the first act to invest you in the stakes of all the stuff in prison. And while being a prison film, it never spends to long in one place as Bradley has to work his way up to the maximum security wing of the prison in Cell Block 99 run by a really fun Don Johnson.


I don't really have that many problems with Brawl in all honesty. I won't spoil it, but the final shot of the film is ruined by one of the fakest looking prosthetic heads I've ever seen, which kinda left the film on a tiny sour note, but that was a 1 second shot in an over 2 hour film, so I can't hold that against it too much.


Brawl in Cell Block 99 is one of my biggest surprises of the year. A brutally violent, extremely entertaining and just plain demented films of the year that also features the best performance of Vince Vaughn's career. I cannot wait to see S. Craig Zahler's next film.

9/10 Dans

Brawl in Cell Block 99 hits cinemas on the UK from October 20th
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Friday 13 October 2017

The Babysitter (2017) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written October 13th, 2017*

"A good Netflix Original Film?!"

This was not a film I had any interest in seeing. Netflix films are usually garbage and McG is a director even worse than his name, so this turned out to be an unspectacular, albeit fun horror-comedy for the most part. Which is far more than expected.

It plays on the sexy babysitter trope by having the sitter as the villain. And Samara Weaving does a great job as the insanely hot title character and is quite possibly the most likeable murderous cult head I've seen on screen. Judah Lewis also does a solid job as the kid forced to go head to head with his babysitter after staying awake and witnessing her cult ritual with her friends.

Being only 85 minutes really worked in the films favour. It's sort of structured like a video game. The kid works his way about the teenagers one by one, killing them in surprisingly grizzly, funny and creative ways. It felt a bit like a Tucker and Dale vs Evil. It was a nice reverse to see the victim rack up a higher body count than the villains, but it's weird to see this 12 year old kid not be phased by any of the deaths he caused. I know it's not that sound of film, but it was still a little off.


I really wasn't a fan of some of the direction. There's some lame and stylised on screen writing that wasn't needed. It also really does look like a DTV film, which is a shame. It's clearly low-budget, but it's not hard to make a film not look like an ABC TV pilot. Especially with Netflix's funds.


It's not great, it's not bad, but The Babysitter is merely serviceable entertainment with a solid lead performance from Samara Weaving. Which is far more than you can expect from Netflix Original Films at this point. A pleasant surprise I was expecting to give one star.

6/10 Dans

The Babysitter is streaming now on Netflix UK
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Spectre (2015) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written October 31st, 2015*

"Some great Bondage"

After the insane standard that Skyfall set back in 2012, it was suspected that Spectre would never live up to its hype, but my god, Spectre was just 100% gravy, I loved every minute and I'm even torn between what I loved more, this Casino Royale or Skyfall.

Sam Mendes returns to the directors chair in a story that bring Bond head to head with a mysteries organisation called 'S.P.E.C.T.R.E.' that has links to his past and is run by mastermind Oberhauser (Christoph Waltz).

In many ways it feels like Spectre is a finale to Daniel Craig's run as Bond, it ties up and brings all his films full circle, even Quantum of Solace, although the film tries its hardest no to bring that up to much. It turns out that all on Craig's previous villains were part of Spectre. I saw some reviews saying it felt cheap and unearned, but I felt it worked.


Mendes once again delivers several excellent and memorable set-pieces. Opening with a gorgeous tracking shot in Mexico for Day of the Dead that is filmed to look like one long take, it was beautiful and certainly got Spectre off to an amazing start. The rest of the action scenes are great too, we get a brutal close-quarters fight between Bond and henchman Mr. Hinx on a train that reminded me of From Russia with Love and a fantastic car chase through the streets of Rome.

What helps Spectre a lot is its return to a slightly more lighter tone, while still maintaining its dark seriousness. Since Casino relaunched the series, people have complained about its tone. Casino started dark and brutal, showing how Bond become Bond, Quantum just derailed everything, Skyfall was a step closer to the Bond we know and Spectre feels like the first fully fledged Bond film in a long time. It relies heavily on the formula that makes Bond iconic, but still feels extremely fresh.

We still have the locations, the girls and the over the top villain who is played marvellously by an always amazing Christoph Waltz, he does his usual and lovable Waltz thing, but that makes him no less great and memorable. Dave Boutista was awesome too, bring a henchman that feels like a classic with his quite demeanour and menacing size, he even gets a gorgeous kill that involves eye gouging, which was extremely brutal, even by Bond's recent standard of violence.

Craig is as good as ever as James Bond, he really seems to have the role tied down now, brimming with the charm and charisma that is needed for the role, while still doing some really audacious and bone-breaking physical work.


Lea Seydoux was really great as the Bond girl, she felt like the most human of Craig's women since Casino Royale's Vesper, she had solid chemistry with Craig and felt fairly genuine that they would fall in love by the end, even leaving an open ending for them that could hopefully be resolved tragically at the beginning of the next film. I won't even mention Monica Belluci, as her role felt like a glorified cameo that barely rounded up to five minutes of screen-time, which was weird as she was heavily featured in the advertisement and posters leading up to the release. 

Ralph Fiennes, Ben Whishaw and Naomi Harris all return as Bond's MI6 team. They were all great and each had there own moments to shine, the finale even felt like the recent Mission Impossible films where they all had a role to play and something to do.


If Spectre is Craig's last outing as Bond, then this was a damn satisfying way to do it, with a story that brings things full circle and completes the story while leaving the door open to more instalments. Filled with everything that makes Bond great, Spectre might just be the best of Craig's films and maybe even the best of the whole series. I just hope someone can fill the huge gap Mendes will leave now that he has said he won't be returning to direct the series anymore.

9/10 Dans

Spectre is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order (2019) - PS4 Review

Review: *Originally written November 19th, 2019* There's no denying that EA has had a bad run with the Star Wars franchise since i...